Cracked Hearts

The last time I saw Maimun
words poured out of me like water squeezed from a sponge.

She covered my mouth with hers
as if to swallow a terrible curse that would come back to afflict us.

“Forget us, forget me,” she said.

Upon us was

the moment of partying—
my heart cracked.

“I will come for you, my moon,” I said.
“I will get you away from your Imam father
Even Allah.”

“Goodbye, my love
I cannot help you with my love.

Forget, my love
I love you more than life itself.”

She shimmered away—

And I was alone. 

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Estranged

We are fighting
Not
To save us
It doesn’t mean
I didn’t say I love you
and
I will miss you.

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Mama, I Can't Take It No More

I used to date a beauty Queen

Now I see her in magazines.

When the Army came calling
          they took away my ragged, faded jeans
          and gave me their Army greens,
          put me in a barber’s chair
          and took away my hair.

They took away my school certificates
          and put them in a kit bag
Taught me how to kill
          and say “Yessir”.

They make me walk all the way with 50-kg luggage and 20-pound guns
          then feed me on Army biscuits and water.

They send me away into the jungle;
          make me walk in the desert
          and sleep in a body bag.

They sent me to the battle
          killed for them
          now they wanna kill me
          because I survived—
Mama, I can’t take it no more!

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Lovers Hold On

We just going on our lives like nothing’s happening
like our love ain’t dying young

We used to kiss for so long we got out of breathe
Now you don’t even close your eyes
Then you banish me in the snow
I don’t feel you anymore

Lovers hold on to anything
I need you to come back

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Healing

Hellen, can you hear me
I was wondering if we could go out today
To share a moment
Just the two of us
But I ain't expecting much from you

Hellen, can you hear me
I'm seating here dreaming about what we used to be
When we were in love, and inseparable
I've forgotten how we used to be before we became strangers

There's such a difference between us
and a million miles

Hellen, look up from your phone
I must have called you a thousand times
To tell you I'm here
But you are lost in your own world
Hellen, my heart is breaking
At least say you hear me
Our love needs healing
It doesn't have to tear us apart anymore

Hellen, please say you love me
because I will say it back
I hope that we're strong

It's no secret that I am
Losing patience

So, Hellen, stop laughing with your phone
I must have waited eternities
To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I might’ve done
But you never seem to see I’m home
Hellen, can you hear me
We can heal
It doesn't have to tear us apart anymore

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