Estranged

We are fighting
Not
To save us
It doesn’t mean
I didn’t say I love you
and
I will miss you.

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Mama, I Can't Take It No More

I used to date a beauty Queen

Now I see her in magazines.

When the Army came calling
          they took away my ragged, faded jeans
          and gave me their Army greens,
          put me in a barber’s chair
          and took away my hair.

They took away my school certificates
          and put them in a kit bag
Taught me how to kill
          and say “Yessir”.

They make me walk all the way with 50-kg luggage and 20-pound guns
          then feed me on Army biscuits and water.

They send me away into the jungle;
          make me walk in the desert
          and sleep in a body bag.

They sent me to the battle
          killed for them
          now they wanna kill me
          because I survived—
Mama, I can’t take it no more!

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Lovers Hold On

We just going on our lives like nothing’s happening
like our love ain’t dying young

We used to kiss for so long we got out of breathe
Now you don’t even close your eyes
Then you banish me in the snow
I don’t feel you anymore

Lovers hold on to anything
I need you to come back

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Healing

Hellen, can you hear me
I was wondering if we could go out today
To share a moment
Just the two of us
But I ain't expecting much from you

Hellen, can you hear me
I'm seating here dreaming about what we used to be
When we were in love, and inseparable
I've forgotten how we used to be before we became strangers

There's such a difference between us
and a million miles

Hellen, look up from your phone
I must have called you a thousand times
To tell you I'm here
But you are lost in your own world
Hellen, my heart is breaking
At least say you hear me
Our love needs healing
It doesn't have to tear us apart anymore

Hellen, please say you love me
because I will say it back
I hope that we're strong

It's no secret that I am
Losing patience

So, Hellen, stop laughing with your phone
I must have waited eternities
To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I might’ve done
But you never seem to see I’m home
Hellen, can you hear me
We can heal
It doesn't have to tear us apart anymore

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My Heart is not Yours

No hurt hurts more unless
it’s the heart that’s broken
you only wish you were wiser
when the feelings you had have been trampled  

Pain piercing your soul before tears could form
the fights
that you hoped shall end one day
now a mosaic before you.

No one stops caring anymore unless
their loved ones deny them their share of the love they once had
bleeding love and eyes pleading for understanding
it’s not something you ever thought happening
until the cold in their eyes freezes you to the core
and even then you say the words and roll them with your tongue,
under bated breath because you are loving, caring
only saying sorry
crying silent tears with each caress
wishing they gave you their all.

You have to understand,
that no one mends their heart a million times
unless it is for love
no one submits to the devil
unless hell is their heaven
no one sacrifices all their happiness unless it’s for love.
No one opens their heart and risks all
unless it’s love.

No one abandons their family
where everyone loves them
unless they have been struck by Cupid’s poisoned arrow
because a poisoned arrow in the heart is better
than family walls that are so high no one could climb
everyone a cherub flapping their wings in protection
because a romantic embrace
is warmer than that of tens of brothers and sisters.

The outburst:
          “Go away from me
          bitch
          gold-digger
          I’m tired
          I don’t love you any more”
          sink in so effortlessly
          you ask—
          maybe because the words are milder
          piecing together the heart you shattered.

Or the words are tenderer
than the cold treatment that you give me
or the insults are easier
to take
than your disgust towards me.

Like the first time we kissed
I carry the memory of us growing apart every other day—
we don’t touch, kiss, you don’t say I love you too,
heck, we don’t talk at all.

I want you to go,
even if you go out into the rain
even if winter is coming
even if it’s in the cold dark nights
even if monsters await you, baying for your blood
because my heart is not yours to trample
and I will try to forget you
I’ll try to move on—
unless you collect all the scattered pieces of my heart and piece them together—
my heart is not yours. 

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