Intimate Partner Violence (Retribution)

In a world where patriarchate is heritage nothing has been left to chance about the male dominance – man is the head, and woman the neck.

            Nevertheless, the recent attacks on men from a particular place in Kenya (classified stuff) by their women have raised alarm on the God-given place of man. There seems to be a silent revolution that would end the age-old reign of man.

Women are infiltrating, conquering and dominating where man has boasted the sole leadership and command since time immemorial, and are doing better.

Why this sudden upheaval? The woman is empowered to the hilt, and the male species is losing it. Gone are the days when alcohol-acquired-machismo was revered by the ladies and thence the sisters (who’ve been in distress for eons) have taken the reins – from bedroom to work place.   

      

            It is no longer the duty of wives to wash their husband’s feet when he arrives from a journey; the washing machine does the laundry and, poor hubby, dare he drink himself to a stupor through the night to the break of the day and expect to be welcomed home with the warmth and love he demands – the microwave would automatically warm his food the minute it smells his reeking-brewery-stench a kilometer away, or he would just have to fast.

One man who can testify to this is Simon Kiguta from Nyeri County, who arrived home drunk and his wife opened the door for him only to attack him later. “I went to bed after surrendering the little money that I had and retired to bed,” says Simon.

When women troop-demonstrated to Beijing and declared, on a platform for action, how violence is meted on them by men it was the end of the maledom. Women, who were most abused by men, got the idea of growing claws as non-nuclear self-defence weapons – Tiger Claws and Bruce Lees went out, and in entered Lucy Lius and Cynthia Rothrocks.

All the same, it is true women are the most abused, despite there being silent – and innocent – victims in men who are too proud to say, or too shy to show.

           

  Some men take Kenny Rogers’ words to heart (‘…son you don’t have to fight to be a man…’). This crop of men-folk cringes, and turns the other cheek when they can’t walk away, at the face of violence (perceived or real). Thence, their women find punching bags, many a time target practice, in them. Simon Kiguta now has a disfigured stature – thanks to his lovely wife – and this makes one wonder what kind of callousness can trigger a person to inflict such injuries on a human being.    

          

  On the other hand, in the name of combating rape, and other violence directed at women, the world has seen many dangerous women – 12th Dan black belts – unleashed from dojos by oh-so-willing sensei.

Nonetheless, these women, instead of using their sensei-inculcated-tactics on the monsters that trail them in cahoots they use their movie stuff techniques  and American Ninja tactics on their sweethearts (of course when the man of the house pushes a little further to assert his maleness or seems to be unaware of his milieu).

           

The tragic stories that have wakened the world of intimate relationships and marriages, men being victims, are appalling. These and many other horror stories of couples suffering in the sweet arms of their lovers over-abound. It is a trend that has become a norm, but only the ever-vocal (and obviously the eternal abused and violated) fairer sex tells the world what they are going through.

In a society where macho is a quality for masculinity men have suffered in silence, fearing female tongue lashing and bruising their egos and injuring their precious prides. This should cease though some, like Mwangi, say, “One thing I cannot do is run away because I still love her and there is also the children to take care of. Even after that incident where I broke my hand, I have forgiven her and decided to move on.” Muriuki thinks taking to the hills is better, "I am not ready to go back to that house and live with my cruel wife. This is too much to bear.”

Men need to come up, talk and voice (that’s what Maendeleo ya Wanaume is for) out their concerns, but they have business to attend to first.

Men have endowed themselves to the grace of laughter thus submitted themselves to be jeered, drenched, clouted and crossed. It is time they shaped up, took over the reins and proved worth the while – put bread on the table (even if divorce with miss liquor has failed), fix the broken home appliances and create some time from the EPL/KPL-tight-schedule to be with madam; at least show some form of responsibility and a sign of toeing the line, even if the pretence of the year award goes to them.

You see how women are disappointed in men in the likes of Mary (of Nyeri) who says, “There is no way I’m going to fend for a grown up man who has abdicated his parental responsibilities and resorted to heavy drinking at the expense of the family.”

Above all, men should do themselves a favour by catching up on the news – the world is watching Nyeri of Kenya from a distance, but the lessons are being picked by lasses everywhere (that’s what law guys call precedence). It started with some lady somewhere; today we have the likes of Condoleezza Rice, Angela Merkel and Hilary Clinton amongst others.