The First Time I Had Sex

He took off my tank top, then bra

Pried open the zipper of my cropped pants

And peeled my knickers layer by layer with his teeth

Till I stood naked, embarrassed.

When he suckled my breasts,

I imagined him drinking from the bowl of my heart.

I loved him, but words are nothing

Deeds mean everything –

I was doing it for love.

Between my legs he was hard and full.

I lifted my legs, created a cradle for him

Then said:

Don’t. Stop.

He heard don’t stop.

He lost himself in me, stretching, hurting me

Breaking bonds. I magically yielded.

Sweet.

My body broke to pieces, and scattered.

Rain fell, a benediction.

This is how sex is?

He was smiling, glowing –

I felt horrible, empty.

Evelyn, what have you done? I heard the voice of God.

“We didn’t do anything wrong,” Alex said.

You don’t do things that’re wrong, I told myself, because of love.

His heat seeped through my thighs.

We were not going anywhere together –

The sound of my heart breaking was the loudest.

The serpent lied to me, I told God

And I ate the apples…